RA Blog Week 2017 – Partners

RABADGE2017

Where would we be without our partners?  What a great question.  Today’s #RABlog week post is about our partners.  I had almost 10 years of living with RA when I met my husband so I had a groove going.  He knew I had a medical hiccup but it didn’t phase him.  He had nursed his sick wive for 4 years before she passed, so he was well versed on illness.  And heck, I didn’t look sick!  I went to the gym, walked his dog and skied.

Four months into our relationship I had a terrible ski accident and he took care of me for the next 4 months at his house.  But I came back better than ever and we spent a number of years being very busy with life, and work.  We skied every winter, including 5 trips with our group to Europe to ski.

March of 2016 was when I went downhill a bit – my knees were slowly falling apart.  Mr. Phat, as I call him, drove me to doctor visits when I couldn’t drive, he picked up meds for me and he would be the one to take the stairs to the basement.  It never phased him, he never groaned or said “I have to go down again.”  He willingly did anything that I couldn’t.

The support that I have consistently received from him continued this year when I decided to have my knee replaced.  I underestimated the pain I would experience due to the stoppage of my RA meds for a month around the surgery.  I cried a lot of mornings and he would take care of me with ice packs, coffee, food and meds.  He took care of anything that needed to be taken care of.   A few weeks after the first total knee replacement, I confidently decided that I wanted to have the other knee replaced.  So eleven weeks after the first surgery, I had the second surgery.  Even when I ended up back in the hospital 3 weeks after surgery for some bleeding, he was calm, cool and took care of my every need.

Not sure how I got so lucky.  I always say that you get what you give.  We both put each other first which is what I believe a partnership should be.  I don’t think I could have gone through two surgeries so close together without him.  We are blessed.

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Gratitude on Thanksgiving

What a statement on gratitude.  That it’s the heart’s memory.  Before 10:30 yesterday morning I’d been brought to tears by three different events.  First was a dear friend’s posting on Facebook to the son that she lost 2 years ago and it was about her young granddaughter singing a little song to her deceased uncle.  My friend was telling her son on Thanksgiving that she was so fortunate to have had him for 24 years.

I have another college friend that is being treated for an aggressive form of breast cancer.  She was an inspiration to me as I went thru my divorce and she helped coach me thru some difficult discussions I needed to have with my soon to be ex and the gratitude I feel toward her for that is something special.  She lives 2 hours away so I’ve managed only one visit, but several cards and emails through her treatments.  I received an email from her yesterday morning from her thanking me for my love and thoughtfulness and how it has helped her.  Sharon, I know you’ll read this and I want to tell you that you get what you give.

Then Mr. Phat and I got into to the car to pick up his pregnant daughter and her husband to travel for Thanksgiving dinner.  Mr. Phat’s wife passed of breast cancer when his daughter was 13.  An old family friend who lives halfway across the country was in town because her son is at college locally.  She had insisted on coming to visit my step daughter Thanksgiving morning because she had something to give her and was leaving early this morning to fly back home.  She was very close with the family when my step daughter was young and was close with her mom.  She brought her three children’s books, one of which was my step daughters book that she and her mom had given to this friend when her son was born and the deceased mom had written a note to the son saying that they hoped he enjoyed it as much as they had, love, N & A.  So that book has now made a complete circle from a young girl and her mom, to another young man and his mom and now the young girl is a grown woman who will have it to share with her baby.

You can’t make this up.  With all the bad that makes the news, these little stories of love and gratitude are what really make the world go around.

In case you’re wondering what book it was – it was one of my favorites!!